Regrets: Treasures
by MadHatterLilith
Summary: Umibozu has many regrets about his family situation...but even with all the pain and bad feelings between them now, there are some things he would never regret. First in a series of three oneshots.


_Isn't it strange? _

The happiest memories are the first to fade, leaving only faint remnants of warmth and love in their place. They could be the happiest days of your life, but you don't get to carry them with you forever.

Only regrets last your lifetime. They weigh on you, making you close your heart a little more each day just to get by. They make you want to escape, knowing it could only get worse.

And that's what he did. He told himself it was for the best, that he could find a way to help her. But he knew deep down that he had regrets.

When he met her, she was beautiful, her eyes bored and cold but with gentleness poorly hidden underneath. She'd lived on that seemingly uninhabitable planet for years before he interfered. She was the most beautiful, strongest woman he'd ever met.

And he, praised for his strength on the battlefield, was captivated. He couldn't bear to take his eyes from her for a moment. He could hardly bear to stay away, no matter what his duties around the world paid him to. He kept going back.

It was strange, not something he'd ever felt before. Next to her, even seemingly endless deserts seemed beautiful. The sight of the stars in space had captivated him in the distant past, but the stars he saw then we're nothing compared to then. These stars seemed to shine with all the radiance in the entire universe, seemed less like the twinkling lights he'd grown used to over the years.

Suddenly the universe had a whole new beauty, one it lacked when she wasn't by his side.

<strike>_ Now only if he could stop being so nervous around her and really appreciate at it without worrying about looking like a fool…_</strike>

He regretted going back after that last time when she watched him go. He knew it was supposed to be goodbye. He knew she probably had her reasons; they had been growing closer lately. He regretted asking her to go away with him.

She could've lived for centuries more if he hadn't taken her away from her home planet.

When she fell sick, he knew it was his fault. He knew finding a cure would be difficult; altana mutants weren't exactly as common as teenage shonen protagonists after all. But he would find it, no matter how long it took.

And one day, they'd be happy. One day, they'd go to Earth.

But his searches were unproductive. He spent even less time at home as Kouka grew weaker. When he returned, Kagura and her mother always greeted him happily while his son's eyes grew colder.

He regretted it the second he hurt his eldest child. Any father would... especially if he hadn't even cared in the moment that he was raising his hand at a child.

He ran away, spent even more time on his searches, taking up work wherever he could find it, just to stay away. It was his way of protecting his family. His way of stopping his regrets.

Of course, such a thing is impossible. He ran away to protect his daughter and save his wife. But what happened? His wife died, and his lonely daughter fled to another planet to earn a living. And when he found her, she'd grown stronger than he ever thought the sweet girl could be. It was the strength to protect, to forgive.

He felt a sharp pain in his heart as he realised later that she'd grown stronger because of him. Yet another reason to regret.

As if how she'd found a new home to replace the cold and empty one she grew up in didn't make him feel guilty enough, there was that silver haired samurai. And that pair of glasses.

She even found a new father and older brother.

Umibozu had a million things he regretted in his past...but there were things about those days he never regretted.

He never regretted having a daughter. He put Kagura through a lot. He was never a proper father to her...but she was still warm hearted and loved him. She was beautiful and strong like her mother. And she loved the sun, even if it was the weakness if a Yato.

No matter what, he would never regret the days he and Kamui spent following Kouka around, protecting her and the baby from anything and everything. He would never regret the nights he spent rocking the small baby girl to sleep so her mother could rest. Even the times when she called him bald he treasured like the times when he'd see the tiny girl stand up for her brother.

No matter what he would never regret having a son. Young Kamui had warmth in his heart and though they bickered often, he didn't hate his father. At least, not at first. He was strong and stubborn. He loved his family, even though he left them in the end. Umibozu regretted hurting him, pushing him towards the wrong path.

But he never regretted the days when they fled the house together, knives flying by their heads or the days when they fought over food at the dinner table. (Kouka always won.) He even treasured the little arguments they would have. One day, he hoped they could fight like that again.

And he never had and never would regret falling in love with Kouka. After meeting her, he didn't remember what life was like before. He was head over heels in just a matter of days. She wasn't just beautiful, she was strong, dangerous. Her eyes had an amused look to them from time to time and there was an even more dangerous shine of intelligence in those captivating blue eyes. How she could ever love him back, he was never sure.

He remembered the now long ago days when they would just talk about the stars. He remembered every visit, every smile. He remembered every day in their small home, even before their children came along. He remembered how she called him bald when he had a thick head of hair. He remembered how happy the once lonely woman seemed.

And even when memories began to fade and his regrets weighed down on him, he would stop for a moment.

And he would remember all the things he didn't regret.


End file.
